Perjalanan

hidup tidak selalu sama dengan keinginan,
tidak selalu indah seperti mimpi dan khayalan,
hidup adalah tentang perjalanan, bisa lurus berkelok maupun naik turun.

untukmu yang sedang dalam kebingunan,
mungkin tidak hanya aku, kamu, tapi mungkin banyak juga diluar sana yang sedang mengalami hal yang sama,
untuk sebuah jiwa yang sedang dirundung gelisah yang hebat,
yang menjepit dari segala sisi dan arah, gerakmu seakan terbatas bahkan menjadi lambat.

Dua Satu Dua di Dua Enam

di sebuah jendela di lantai dua,

di sebuah tempat yang teramat asing,

bagi seorang pemuda yang sedang dan telah bersembunyi ratusan hari. nyatanya.

dan pada langit malam ini yang teramat sepi, 

yang nampaknya sedikit murung tertutup awan,

masih adakah secercah harapan di esok hari. yang pikirannya dipenuhi dengan ragam tanya.

A Time

For those of you who are being afflicted with many problems.

Never blame time, because time isn't innocent.
Maybe actually, you are the one who is never values time.

For those of you who are in a state of confusion facing life.

Never blame situation, because situation isn't entirely wrong.
Maybe actually, you are the one who isn't wise in taking steps and decisions.

It's Raining Today

1 week before 6 months.
It's Raining today.

Make peace, I just wanna be back in good condition.

So that my life is good, so that I can make my sorrounding being good.

I want to finish this hiding, I seem to be tired.

6 months that have changed my life to be uncertainty, even my sorrounding has become affected by my decision.

For years I have built, I have ruined it myself, I have sacrified lots of happiness for my dear people.

A Little Child After The Mosque

There was a little boy who came to mosque this dawn.

Praying just beside on my left.

When my spirit was losing, when a belief was little down.

When a mind was gathering weakens myself.

When the life condition felt stucking, when the future felt so scary and so sad.

When a calm environment as like as made me to be resentful even irritated.

When a relation already felt its no fun.

When a life seemed meaningless.

When the time that had been well it's destroyed in an instant.

When a confusion  hit so hard about  how to start everything back to be good.

Don't Just Blame Fate (Part 2)

12 years ago, when I was in the first grade of high school, I had ever been english language course at LBPP LIA Cirebon in approximately 1 year. Because when I was in middle school, my national exam scores fell in english subject, so I could not enter to my favorite high school. And I realized that I was weak in terms of mastering a foreign language.

My fault was that I'm not serious in taking the english course, I didn't have a strong desire  to be able to master english and improve my weaknesses in term of mastery of english.

As time went on, until I went to college I didn't have the seriousness to mastering english, even though I was on one of the best state campuses in Indonesia.  Where in this campus environment, lots of people were already fluent in english, even lots of my friends that can go abroad to short course, join an international conference, or the other activities, with fluent in english as capital.

The Time of Your Glory Will Arrive Soon

image source : http://www.unicaz.com/post/1532032943-see-you-on-top

For students and those who have graduated with a scientific, social, engineering and the others degree each based on education on campus.

In the past, campus had a big name because of the quality of its students.
Now, students take refuge in the big name of their campus.

That is an incorrect paradigm.
Including what I'm experiencing right now.
A perception which almost faded after several years I graduated from college.
In fact, campus is only a place to deepen and hone the quality of our abilities, especially in the science that we have.
Indeed, campus is only an early gate that leads us to a great battleground which will make us great people with a good future.

Don't Just Blame Fate (Part 1)

We can't blame destiny as a cause of life failure, but blame yourself who has been wrong in acting to do something that causes you to fail.

Today is an investment of the past, and tomorrow is an investment today.

For example :

When I first entered college, I lived in dormintory, a room in four with friends from different regions.

Then why was I choosing out of my room at that time, because my room became crowded with a gathering place for bad boys who didn't support a good life.

Which caused me to lose focus to study, so my GPA wasn't very good according to my initial expectations.

Be Your Best Version

Be an empty glass who is willing to accept various perspectives from many people.
So that your heart isn't  hard, so that your mind is wide open.
Be an empty glass who are always thirsty for knowledge.
So that your attitude isn't arrogant, so that you aren't careless in stepping.
Be an empty glass who is willing to hear people's stories.
So that you keep learning, so that you can find the best version for your life's goal.

For Souls Who are Lost

Have you ever felt lost in the journey of your life?
For years, you have graduated from college, you still ask what am I looking for?
Even when you open your media social, maybe instagram or facebook or twitter or the others.
You look your friends that they have chosen their own way, and at the time you feel left behind.
Some choose to continue their master degree in abroad and they got a scholarship for it.
Some choose to work in the big company and they look so cool with their good career positions.
And some choose to be entrepreneurs with the turnover of tens of millions.

About Finding Yourself

Be grateful for the people that have found their passion.
They will enjoy their life in all of whatever their condition.
They might never be people who will be often complain about the fate happened.
They will live with their own way, their own system and being themselves.

Communication is Important

Communication is important.
Lots of smart people are not successful in their career because they're stiff and can't mix with the others people.
Lots of ordinary people can succeed in their career because they are adaptable and they socialize.
But even better is being smart people who easily blend and adapt, that's just perfect.

And I'm fighting to get it.

Wandering Hunted New Life in Surabaya

This journey was started in early August 2015. After I resigned from the  company I worked  in the West Jakarta. Nearly 8 months, I have worked in PT Conbloc Infratecno, a private contractor company headquartered in Meruya Ilir, West Jakarta. The first time I worked there, I was assigned on site in Ende, Flores – East Nusa Tenggara to handle a national road construction project along 15.6 Km. From November 2015 to July 2015.

Due to lots of consideration, from financial, environment, and working system, in end of July 2015, I decided to resign from the company. Then, I decided a new moved place to Surabaya City in East Java. I didn’t know why I got the decision to move to Surabaya. Even though for the job vacancies, Jakarta seemingly have better opportunity and certainty than Surabaya. I answered I don’t know, why my heart and these foot wanted to go to Surabaya.

Malam terakhir di sebuah Pengasingan

Di beberapa hari terakhir, sebelum persinggahan ini terusir.
Rasa cemas kerap menghantui, membuat ketakutan di setiap sisa hari yang dilalui.
Berjalanpun seperti mengendap-ngendap berharap tak ditanyai.
Bahkan sisa persediaanpun hanya menyisahkan beberapa lembar yang sepertinya tak cukup untuk mencari yang baru.

Di malam terakhir, berharap dapat menemukan sebuah pencerahan dan keberanian tentang sebuah tempat harapan baru.
Yang mungkin setidaknya, dapat mengisi hari-hari untuk bisa bertahan sampai mandiri.
Sampai jejak-jejak ini dapat kembali mencapai tempat tertinggi.
Semoga Tuhan melapangkan jalan-jalan rezeki agar aku bisa berdiri lagi.

Untuk sebuah Waktu yang Akupun Tak Mengerti

Beberapa hari yang lalu sudah jarang hujan,
Namun sore ini terlihat awan sudah berkumpul menghitam,
Tampaknya hari ini akan hujan.

Pada suatu langit yang berwarna jingga kemerah-merahan,
Yang dihiasi dengan suara-suara adzan berkumandang,
Tak terasa begitu cepatnya perjalanan pagi menuju malam.

Dari lantai dua kamar sempit tempat pengasingan,
Sudah kuhabiskan waktu beberapa bulan mencari kepastian,
Pada akhirnya lelah itu berhasil menundukkan langkah-langkah masa lalu yang penuh kesombongan.